With all the sickness that we have seen lately, I thought it fitting to share my testimony about my illness over the last few years and how keeping the faith that God has a purpose and a plan is important to remember. Sixteen years ago, I started experiencing headaches. Some days were much harder than others. I went to doctor after doctor with test after test looking for a diagnosis. All my lab work appeared to be normal. However, I had two lesions on my brain based on an MRI. The doctor narrowed my diagnosis to three things – scar tissue from a car accident, mini strokes or Multiple Sclerosis (MS). Nothing was 100% certain.
Eventually, additional symptoms began to raise their ugly heads. I started having numbness on my left side with my arm, leg and even my tongue going numb. Something was not right. It had been ten years since I had started this journey and still no answer. My latest MRI showed five more lesions for a total of seven now. God seems to like that number.
I requested a lumbar puncture since I had additional symptoms and many years had passed since the first one had been done. Complications from that procedure required another procedure. Three weeks later I called my doctor to check for results. He called me back, rattled all these numbers off and then says, “You have MS.” Finally, a diagnosis. He then gives me three medicines to go do my “research and check the blogs” and advised me to call him back to let him know what I wanted to take. I was relieved but devastated all at the same time. My doctor just gave me the news that I have an incurable disease over the phone. Oh, and by the way, I get to pick my own medicine.
I had already done some research on MS. I also had a best friend since elementary school that had been diagnosed a few years earlier. There is nothing positive out there to google. I had learned not all disabilities or diseases are visible. MS is the most widespread disabling neurological condition of young adults around the world. The only thing positive about that is that they mention “young adults”. While we all have a spiritual battle fighting within us. I have another battle. My immune system has mistaken my good cells for bad cells and attacks them. Specifically, my central nervous system. No one knows the cause. They think it is linked to a Vitamin D deficiency, leaky gut or childhood immunizations. It is NOT contagious. The doctor says there is no cure. I say, “But God!”
Initially, I was going to hide my news as much as possible. I didn’t want people treating me any differently and I did not want a pity party. After a conversation with my sister and one of my best friends at work, I knew that wasn’t the right thing to do. They reminded me that people needed to know so they could pray for me. Matthew 18:20 says, “Where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.” I didn’t care what the doctor said, I knew the Miracle Worker and I wanted all my prayer warriors bombarding heaven.
I will admit that I asked why me when I got my diagnosis. God reminded me of John 9:1 And as Jesus passed by, he saw a man which was blind from his birth. 2 And his disciples asked him, saying, Master, who did sin, this man, or his parents, that he was born blind? 3 Jesus answered, Neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents: but that the works of God should be made manifest in him.
God has a purpose for me and to bring Him glory. Remember He gives the greatest battles to his bravest soldiers.
I admit there are days that I am tired. I find myself reciting Isaiah 40:29 He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength. 30 Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall: 31 But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.
The doctor and every study that is currently available says there is no cure for my disease. There are expensive drugs that can prolong the progression and potentially keep me from being in a wheelchair during my lifetime. I refuse to accept the doctor’s report. I am standing on the word of my Lord and that word says in Isaiah 53:5 that by His stripes we are healed!!!!!
It doesn’t matter what diagnosis the doctor gives you. Whether it be MS, cancer, Covid-19, an issue of blood like the woman in the bible or any other illness, God is the Great Physician. I encourage you to push through for yourself, your family member, your friend or whomever is facing an illness. Keep praying until you feel you have reached the hem of His garment. It is His desire for you to be made whole. Your test just might be part of your testimony that someone needs to hear or see. Your faith can make you whole.